This post discusses how to make friends as an adult in a new city.
Moving to a new city can be both exhilarating and…also a bit nerve-wracking, especially if you don’t know anyone there.
To tackle this sentiment, you can try building social connections to encourage a sense of belonging.
And although making friends as an adult isn’t the simple process it was in grade school, there are still plenty of ways to forge meaningful relationships in your new environment.
Why Making Friends Is Important
Having a network of friends is important for your overall well-being. That’s not to say, you must become an extrovert.
On the contrary, regular solitude may have enormous benefits for your mental state as well.
With that said, creating and maintaining strong social bonds can decrease feelings of loneliness, provide emotional support, boost physical health, and reduce stress among other advantages.
When you don’t have friends, you run the risk of developing heightened stress, depression, anxiety, sleep issues, and lower self-esteem.
Why Do Adults Struggle to Make Friends?
Making friends as an adult isn’t as easy as it used to be.
During childhood, we formed associations based on our shared interests and the activities we enjoyed together, like recess.
As adults, we continue to build bonds similarly, but our interests have evolved into something more complex.
Thus, we often seek deeper connections with individuals who align better with our interests, values, and other life experiences.
Also, unlike grade school, quality matters more than quantity.
In other words, we’d rather surround ourselves with a few good friends than a bunch of acquaintances.
Another impediment to our ability to make friends easily is that we do not possess the same access to others within our age group.
In school, there were tons of opportunities to converse and form relationships with peers.
Once you reach adulthood, those encounters shrink as does our proximity to those individuals.
Mix in our responsibilities, busy schedules, and our innate fear of rejection (which tends to intensify with age), and anyone can understand why adults tend to struggle to make friends.
Is It Normal to Not Have Any Friends as an Adult?
If you find that you don’t have much of a social circle, you are not alone.
Many people report having very few if any friends at all.
One report of millennial adults discovered that 27% of them lacked any close friends.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, another survey found that nearly 60% of young women experienced a loss of contact with a few friends.
In the same report, 16% of young women revealed losing touch with most or all of their friend groups.
There’s also evidence that highlights the challenges younger men face in forming friendships with 28% of men (30 and under) reporting having no close personal ties.
Keep in mind that, while having friends can be beneficial, it’s perfectly fine if you don’t desire companionship.
Some people may feel more content on their own and there’s nothing wrong with that.
However, for individuals who would like to expand their social network, particularly in a new city, here are a few ideas to help get you started.
Ideas for Making Friends in A New City
In some ways, you are at an advantage when it comes to making friends in a new city.
You have a shot to reinvent yourself and or make a first impression in a town where you are largely unknown.
To make it easier for you, here are a few ways you can find people to build those lasting bonds.
Go to Dog Parks
Dog parks are a great place to meet people for a couple of reasons.
One, many people love dogs and will engage in friendly conversations over their pets.
Dog owners are also likely to attend these parks frequently and may introduce you to other pet parents.
This, of course, can lead to you having play dates with other owners and being invited to events outside of the park.
Volunteer
Volunteering is not only a great way for you to spend your time in a new city but also helps connect you to like-minded people.
Usually, when adults volunteer at some place, they have a passion for a particular cause.
This allows you to engage with members of your own community in a natural and effortless way while working with them to achieve your shared goals.
Have a Housewarming
Housewarming parties were designed to connect people, specifically those who live near you.
Plus, it’s a party where you get to dress nicely, eat food, and participate in polite conversation within a relaxed setting.
At the very least you’ll walk away from the event caught up on the latest town gossip.
Take a class
Taking a class is one of the best ways to make new friends.
Much like volunteering, you will encounter people who share your interest whether it be cooking, crocheting, or yoga.
What’s more, you’ll have repeated interactions providing plenty of chances to build lasting relationships.
You could also extend this to include clubs and fitness groups. Join a gym or a running club. The possibilities are endless.
Explore the Town
One of the most exciting things about being in a different place is that you get to explore the area.
Take advantage of your new zip code by visiting local shops, cafes, and small businesses.
You’ll be surprised at how eager people would be to chat with the newbie in town.
By supporting the establishments in your new city, you not only gain valuable information but earn brownie points.
How to Make Friends
One thing we have to remember when it comes to making friends is that we already know how to do it.
Don’t be afraid to open up and express your feelings.
Numerous studies suggest that people appreciate honesty and intimacy when choosing their close circle of friends.
Another factor to consider is commitment.
Be ready and willing to accept invitations as they come and commit to meeting with others on a consistent basis. If there is an event, write it down or set a reminder.
Treat it like a date, avoid being too eager, and let your relationships happen naturally.
It may take several interactions before someone feels comfortable enough to take things to the next stage.
Lastly, have a social media where people can look you up. Nowadays, people are more likely to ask for your social media handle than your phone number.
These are just a few more suggestions to help get you started.
Make a New Friend
Making a friend in a new city doesn’t have to be hard.
There are literally tons of ways you can meet new people and many that weren’t even mentioned.
As long as you stay open and willing to interact with people, even those who don’t share all your values and interests.
And if all else fails, you can always find friends at work which is where 54% of individuals form social connections anyway.
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